I rarely posted about The Man’s deployment over the last year for security reasons and because I didn’t feel strong enough to endure the backlash I would receive if I was perceived as whining. I am ready to discuss how we survived, thrived, hunkered down, cried, you name it. Put your seatbelts on because this may be a bumpy ride.
The last week The Man was in country was probably the worst week for me hands down. I didn’t sleep, plus I ate everything not nailed down.
I wasn’t nervous about his impending redeployment or the reintegration.
I was terrified that this would be “the week.”
I didn’t want the doorbell to ring and when it did I was nervous. I didn’t want to look out and see the Army uniforms waiting for me to open the door to an impending life change.
At night I would think through the process. Trust me this is never a good thing to do when you are all alone and it is dark.
Those of us who have lived through a deployment know what I am talking about here. We have read the stories of soldiers making it to their last week and then getting killed. Ugh.
Unfortunately, I was witness to the aftermath of a devastated family who’s soldier went on a 2 week pre-deployment “trip” and never came home.
Anything can happen.
I slept with my cell phone on my nightstand. It was the first thing I grabbed in the morning to check for an email. All I cared about was the email that said, “Alive and well.” Roger that.
And that last week is excruciating. I prayed every night and especially hard when I knew he was making the trek to the airport. I breathed easier once he was out the country.
And I have slept like a baby since he’s been home. I even got a nap in one day.
I know The Man can get die in a car wreck while he is home. I get that. There is just something about the possibility when he is away that seems daunting.