I took my car to the dealership a while ago to have a couple of things looked at. The littles packed up their schoolwork and brought it along. We were unsure of how long we would be waiting.

While in the waiting room, 2 older ladies started chatting with me about the fact that I homeschool. One of the ladies indicated that she wishes her daughter would homeschool, but she can’t because she has to work.

I found myself apologizing for my good fortune. This happens a lot when someone with “less” makes reference to my abundance. I am annoyed at myself for apologizing and I am annoyed at the other person for making me feel this way.

Here’s the thing, I have had “less” in my life. I feel extremely blessed with my current lot in life.  It wasn’t a cakewalk getting here, make no mistake.

I made many sacrifices over the years to get where I am currently. I was a single mother without a college education. I didn’t accept welfare as an option, but chose to put my child in childcare for upwards of 50 hours a week. I decided I wanted a different life for her than what a welfare dependent life would give us. That’s not to say I didn’t accept WIC when I was in dire straits.

I didn’t vacation.

I didn’t have the latest and greatest car. My first “new” car was a 1988 Hyundai Accent that didn’t have a/c or power windows because that would have pushed my car payment over $200 per month.

We shared a bedroom for 6 months with one of my so-called friends before I could afford a 1 bedroom apartment of my own. My oldest got the bedroom in said apartment when she wasn’t visiting her father.

And no, marrying my husband wasn’t my ticket out of my situation. Truthfully, he could barely afford his car payment and credit card bill when he moved in. What changed my life was finally getting my college degree 15 years ago.

What my girlfriends have said

I had a friend who argued with me that my life is blessed because of my skin color. I was so offended by that. She dismissed the fact that I could possibly know anything about hardship because I was white. (I can’t apologize for that too…I am what I am) 

This friend grew up in a stable home with 2 parents who helped her whenever she needed it. She wasn’t married when she had her first child, but she lived at home. I didn’t have that luxury.

I had another girlfriend who told me, years ago, that she was tired of apologizing to people for her husband’s rank in the military. He worked hard for it and she shouldn’t be ashamed over it so she isn’t.

I want to be like that. I want to NOT be uncomfortable when I discuss my opportunity to stay home.

How I see it

Because that is what I equate this to, an amazing opportunity.

I don’t begrudge someone else their success. Truthfully, I get a tad envious that I am not doing more.  (Have you seen those blogs by homeschooling moms?! Holy Hannah! I am behind the power curve for sure!)

Any words of wisdom? Thoughts?

Sometime after I wrote this post I went off to church. I know I should have been really focused but for some reason a thought popped into my head. It wasn’t just MY hard work. Nope. It is by the grace of God that I am where I am today. He gave me the ability and the opportunity and I ran with it. I was remiss in not giving credit or thanks where credit and thanks are due.

A girlfriend and I were talking about lies and their acceptability and consequences and it got me to thinking:

•  Is there ever an acceptable lie?
• Do I lie?
• Why do I lie?
• What happens when someone lies to me?

I would like to say that I NEVER lie but that would be a lie.

I lie to my children. I hate that I lie to them because I have promised that I would never and then I tell them to be good or Santa isn’t visiting them. Is that an acceptable lie?

I lie sometimes when people ask “How are you?” and I say that I am fine, but I am not really fine.  Is that an acceptable lie?

Rest assured though, most of the time I don’t lie. My close family and friends know this. It is why good friends have avoided me during times they are struggling with things that they don’t really want my opinion on. It is why my oldest probably cringes when she asks me how something looks on her or how I like her hair.

I am not trying to be hurtful, but if you don’t want my opinion then please don’t ask. I am a “whatcha see is whatcha get” kind of girl.

Is lying EVER a dealbreaker for you?  Will it cause a break up in a friendship or marriage?

I think I put up a certain amount of lying from those closest to me for a couple of reasons.  The first is that Jesus is forgiving so I have no right not to be just as forgiving, even though it irks me. And the second reason is because I realize the person lying to me feels they can’t live up to whatever expectation they feel I hold them to.

So instead of taking it as a personal affront I am going to take it for what it is, a character flaw.

Sometimes telling the truth backfires though.  Has that ever happened to you?

I had a job where people I worked with weren’t always honest. I spoke up. I got bullied. I was the bad guy.  Then a lie was perpetrated about me. I was hurt and angry. Because I was the squeaky wheel already, the lie was believed.  It was an untenable situation.

With that in mind, I might add that I don’t lie on my taxes either.  There is never enough tax savings to warrant a possible audit. When in doubt, call the IRS or a tax advisor.

Here is what I tell my oldest:

Your integrity is all you have at the end of the day. If you aren’t an honest person, it will become apparent pretty quickly and you will be without friends, possibly family, or a job.

Did you know that your appliances, plumbing, cars, and electronics all confer with each other the minute your spouse deploys?

Seriously.

I am not complaining. Just telling it like it is.

One of my girlfriends thought it would be a service  if I told you about a few of my trials and tribulations and how I have overcome. She thought it might help. I hope it does. No one is perfect, least of all me.

Yeah, there are some things that don’t work when The Man is home, but I don’t seem to mind it as much.  I do, however, mind it A LOT when he is not here.

I don’t think I have ever changed so many dang lightbulbs in my life!  Now it’s not like I am incapable of changing a light bulb. I was raised by a single mother and I was a single mother so being self-sufficient is not out of the realm of possibility.

Truthfully, I am annoyed because I have enough stuff to do without having to haul out the ladder or step-stool to get down the box of bulbs then head to the offending light only to find out we don’t even have that bulb in stock.  And not for nothing, but I am a tad busy here homeschooling and providing food and clean clothes.

Can’t the dang lights give me a freakin’ break??!!  Is that too much to ask??

Apparently it is because I just changed 1 more today and I need to run to HD to get another type of bulb. Ugh!

 The First Offender

The first thing that needed attention around here after The Man left was a toilet. The 9 y.o. washes the kids’ bathroom floor and informed me one week that the floor was already wet behind the toilet (she is very efficient hehehe).  I don’t know the name of the hose that attaches to the toilet and then to the wall, but it needed replacing.

Off I went to HD to find someone in plumbing to tell me how to replace said hose. They knew exactly how to help me. I came home, grabbed the toolbox, shut the water off behind the toilet, and fixed the offending hose.

I felt so empowered. I felt like “I got this!”

The Second Offender

I had to call in the big guns for the next issue.

The kids’ bathroom tub faucet was leaking something fierce when we returned from our cross-country jaunt. Truthfully, it could have been leaking before we left, but I don’t use their bathroom or clean it. I think I went looking for shampoo and discovered the leak.

I know that leaks can be caused by a faulty washer, but this faucet was beyond me. The plumber came by and fixed us up. All was good…..

…..until the dishwasher went on strike.

The Third Offender

I was not to be deterred by this appliance because my husband had just fixed this issue months before he left. The dispenser lid spring wasn’t doing its job any longer. It was old and worn out I guess.

I googled and googled for a solution. The Man FaceTimed to attempt to help. No luck. I was frustrated and upset. The Man told me to call someone.

NO! I was not going to give in.

So instead I stopped using the dishwasher for a week or so until I could attempt the repair like a reasonable adult. Actually it was more because I got tired of washing the dang dishes.

I loaded the kids into the car and headed to Sears. I wanted to see if they had a dishwasher like mine so I could figure this out. And if not, then maybe they had a Kenmore appliance repair person to refer me to.

What I found instead was a very helpful associate. She knew what the offending piece was called. She googled and up popped a YouTube video.

I fixed the dishwasher! Yay!

The One That Reduced Me To A Sobbing Mess

The dishwasher wasn’t fixed yet when the kitchen sink decided to back up. Kid you not.

The last time this happened I called a plumber. He charged us $80 for 15 mins of work…he snaked the line.

This time it was a weekend and there was no way I was calling on a weekend. Plus he had just been here the week before to fix the leaky tub faucet in the kids’ bathroom.

I had been religiously pouring bleach down my drains, per the plumber’s suggestion, to prevent this very problem. I even bragged to the plumber when he was fixing the faucet.  You can imagine my frustration when the back up occurred.

I schlepped to the garage and hauled in the trusty toolbox. I took items out from under the cabinet. I brought in a huge bowl to catch water. I twisted and turned to undo the pipes.

I started crying right there on the kitchen floor. The dang sink was my undoing.

My poor kids didn’t know what to do.

I couldn’t have stopped the sobbing if you paid me.

I was overwhelmed at this point.

Eventually I got all the pipes unscrewed. There was no blockage just as I suspected there wouldn’t be.

I googled for a solution. The first “fix” I found didn’t work.

The second “fix” was THE ONE. It was so inexpensive and easy.

1. Poor baking soda down the drain.
2. Follow with vinegar.
3. Cover the drain quickly. If you have 2 sinks, like I do, make sure the other sink is already closed up tight.
4. Wait for bubbling around stopper to dissipate then uncover.
5. Run water.

I had to do this twice, per the instructions on line, and wa-la! I had a working sink. No plumber was needed after all.

I held my breath for a day or 2, but it has been a couple of weeks now and all is well.

So what’s your story?

Do you have words of wisdom you want to share?

I normally write about money on my blog. Talking and understanding finances is the talent that God has given me and I feel blessed to share that with you all.

I have decided to change that up. I want to tell/share with you how we are surviving our latest deployment (number 5 if you were wondering).

It’s been challenging. Seriously challenging.

I didn’t expect that. After all, this isn’t my first rodeo. I knew it might take a few weeks to get in our groove.

I anticipated the little guy being devastated that his daddy was gone.

Unexpected Scenario

What I didn’t expect was that our 9 y.o. would need counseling.

I so did NOT see that coming.

Her stress level has been through the roof. She has been trying to fix everything and everyone around her. The result:  total meltdowns.

She is my rule-follower, approval-seeker. She keeps the other 2 on the straight and narrow (more on them later).

When it began

After my husband left, we packed up our 35 foot motorhome and took a 3,000 mile trek to visit friends and get our minds off of our situation. This is when she started stressing out. She didn’t want me losing my patience so she tried to “do” everything and “fix” everyone. If I asked anyone to get this, pick that up, help with that, she was the one who jumped forward.

I left her with one of my girlfriends and she couldn’t relax in the front of the tv because we don’t watch tv during the day normally. She was worried they would get in trouble (and no they didn’t).

My heart broke for her. It was so hard to watch her panic. I called a counselor (a Military Family Life Counselor to be exact) as soon as we got home.

She was just what we needed. We saw her once a week for about a month. She gave my 9 y.o. tools to help her alleviate her stress. The best tool was a journal designed specifically for children with a deployed parent.

The downside to this counselor was that she is now gone and the new counselor was a man and my daughter wasn’t interested.

But we did get some help….our new four-legged friend arrived in October. The 9 y.o. is not an animal lover AT ALL. Until now.It was shocking, but an amazing blessing.

All was well, until about a week ago when the novelty of Maggie started wearing off.  I’ve got a call into a new counselor.

Keep us in our prayers.

I know we will come out alright on the other side of this deployment, but until then we need prayers to weather the day to day.

I had this great blogging site redesigned with the intent of doing this as my job, after homeschooling of course *wink wink*, but I had another distraction that was lingering.  You see I sold these “bags.”  I am good at selling bags.  I am actually good at selling most things that I have a passion for, but I digress.

Selling bags was making me money, but I didn’t want to sell bags sooooo I quit.  Yep. I had to get a few things in order but I am no longer selling bags.  It is very freeing actually.

I really struggled with this decision over the last couple of weeks because I make money selling bags. I haven’t made money blogging about money yet so this seems like a silly thing doesn’t  it?  Maybe.

One of the things that caused me angst was a comment by a close girlfriend in the spring when I did my Lenten Challenge. She asked if I felt hypocritical giving up all non-essential spending but still selling bags. It has been weighing on me. In good conscience I had to say good bye to the bags because she was right…it was hypocritical.

My goal in life is to get all my girlfriends more financially secure…selling them bags wasn’t going to help them get there.

My biggest writing obstacle has been because I have blog-envy.  I haven’t been able to figure out all the intricate details of how to make my blog look professional or whatever I think I wanted it to look like so I just quit writing.  It was easier to quit writing than try to find the energy and motivation to fix the issue.

Just the other day I picked up this book at the library.  Now I am re-motivated.  The book reminded me WHY I wanted to blog in the first place.  Blog about your PASSION.  Well, those of you know me know I am a passionate person, but the things most dear to my heart are my faith in God, my family, and money.  More specifically, helping women realize their full potential in this realm.

I  have decided to take myself out of the mainstream working world to homeschool my littles, but I am still passionate about money and financial counseling so this is a way I can utilize the talent God has entrusted in me, plus hopefully help someone along the way.

Just bear with me as I transistion the blog and learn some basic coding.  I look forward to sharing some wonderful stories that I have been saving and to sharing some of my other passion, trading and investing.

Toodles for now!